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Behind The Video Episode 4: Hail Seitan

Alright, so this video was obviously showing how to make a few dishes with the awesomeness known as Seitan.


Seitan is wheat protein (gluten) as the video says. Wheat gluten has gotten some shit press lately. Everything in the world is coming out “gluten free” so much so that it probably is making people say… “I have no idea what wheat gluten is but it sounds bad for you”.


Let it be known Gluten is just Plant Protein… that’s it.  Its Just Plant Protein.


Now I was not a terribly conscious person when the “fat free” fad hit. However I do remember the start of the “Carbs are Bad” fad. What the fuck people… It sucks that industries know that if they repeat something enough people will believe it.


*** Begin Rant***

Now carbs are bad. Even though our body largely lives off of carbs, entire continents are largely fed by carbs (skinny people continents). Carbs are all of a sudden the fucking devil. Carbs are not the enemy… crap food (not food) that happens to be largly carbs are the enemy. Snack cookies, snack cakes, snack processed sugary drink bullshit are the carb culprits.

The new trend has now lead into wheat gluten is bad.

I completely agree with this…. IF YOU HAVE A FUCKING WHEAT ALLERGY!!!

Food allergies/intolerance’s suck in general and I feel bad for people that have them. Luckily there are a shit ton of (vegan) food choices in this world. A shit ton.

However this bullshit going around about (wheat) gluten free this and that without mass amounts of people either getting tested for a wheat allergy or even doing their own real form of testing….is just playing into marketing hype. Food is in now and where there is money there is the marketing to convince you to part with your money.

To me gluten free, fat free (not naturally fat free), whatever products are an abomination to food (unless you have an allergy). Wheat and other vegetables have a lot of protein in them. Its what makes pasta pasta and not dust, it makes rice substantial, it makes it a myth that vegans need some other place to “get their protein”

So people, please do not buy into the gluten free fad without really looking into this for yourself.

Shit carbs are bad for you, shit fat is bad for you… not the gross generalities that the food industry makes to scare your money out of you or allow you to justify yourself for eating some junk snack with no fat but tons of sugar and other crap. I like sugar, but I eat it in meals with nutritious things to fill you up and satiate your body and not snacks which do nothing for you.

*** End Rant***



The video starts off with A Seitanic Udon Noodle Stirfry.


Udon Noodles kick ass. They are a large soft noodle used in Japanese Cooking. They can be found in either vacuum wrapped packages or ,Unknown to many people, in the frozen section of an Asian store.


Now sometimes in the asian store some noodle packages will attempt to trick people by writing udon noodle on the product when it clearly isnt. Udon Noodles are not ramen noodles. They do not look like them…at all.


Now of course you can use any type of (Asian) noodles in this dish. This is the main concept of making a Noodle stirfry in general. With many noodles, you want to boil them for a short amount of time, then allow the sauce to cook them the rest of the way as they get steamed and fried in the pan.


Making the sauce separately allows you to control it a bit better, and does not screw up your vegetables/setian at all while they cook to a crisp perfection. Add the sauce in just before you add the noodles and you will have awesomely crisp vegetables instead of a saggy salty mess.


To make a non vegan analogy to the non vegans reading this. The Seitan will semi resemble Asian restaurant Pork in taste and texture.


The second dish goes on to make a Seitanic Curry. Normal Indian cooking does not use a bunch of bell peppers typically. I did this on purpose because 1) this is actually really good, and 2) I wanted to get into normal Indian cooking a bit later.


I am a huge fucking fan of Indian food and have figured out many tricks and secrets to make home non Indian person cooking on par with some of the best Indian restaurants around.


This is so extensive I will make a separate blog post on it later. Until then, just follow along with the video and you should be good. If you can get curry powder mixes from an Indian or Asian store that will be better… Although the cheap Bandia brand curry powder is good for 1 of the 2, yet very lacking on its own.


Finally, The video ends with an awesome quick favorite of mine. The Barbecue Seitan Sandwiches. These, are fucking great. Add some bell pepper to it as well if you want. I like them in Pita bread to reduce the mess, but they are just awesome.


Thanks for lasting through this rant of a blog post, and of course…


Hail Seitan.