Transcript of the video:

 

Ingredients you will need

 

Tofu

Bean Sprouts

a tomato

Peanuts

Siracha and Chili powder

Garlic and Garlic Powder

Green Onions

Sugar

Tamarind Paste or Tamarind Soup Base

Salt

Rice Noodles

Cilantro

A Lime is optional

Vinegar

 

 

Preparation

 

First Break the rice noodles into a bowl of water

To soak and get softer while we do everything else

then you must press the water out of the tofu

and cut the tofu in half like so. then cut into triangles

Cut the tofu, turn the plate cut the tofu

Cut the tofu, turn the plate cut the tofu!

Be careful not to cut to thin or else when you deep fry them

You will eat nothing but gristle

Form the triangles into the symbol of the ancients on the plate

You will create the sacred sign and cover with two paper towels

 

Put a pot on top or anything with a flat bottom

Fill it with heavy things to press the water out

then set aside for later

 

Now its time to crush the peanuts

place them in two bags and crush with a rolling pin

into a fine powder, if you don’t have a rolling pin

use a pot and crush them as fine as you can

It will affect the texture later. Crush them fine into a powder

Crush those peanuts!

 

It will look like this!

 

Make the Sauce

 

First it starts with sugar, a whole fucking lot.

A little bit more than that, yes thats right

Then you add the peanuts, also a lot.

Less than the sugar, about that much

Add the tamarind, in this case we are using a soup base

Anything tamarind will do…like a paste, they all taste very similar

A little bit more… Fuck! I hate it when that happens

 

The tamarind will add the tangy taste, add some salt and some garlic powder

That much chili powder will make it very hot

Fill it up with water, about that much, then you add the vinegar

Add siracha, it has some vinegar also, then stir it all up

Mix all the layers up as good as you can. Stir it up…

Now I will show you, how to crush some garlic

You cut its head off, and smash it with a knife.

Then the outside, it peels right off.

Lets do it again.

 

Your knife doesn’t have to be that awesome, a regular knife will do.

 

Grate all the garlic into the sauce…like so

 

Add some cilantro, its almost ready

This will be the best pad thai sauce ever, the ones in the stores all suck

If you’ve ever tried them you know what I’m talking about, they’re all very mediocre

Now stir it up, there’s only one more step, stir everything up… ahhh yes.

Kinda looks like puke.

 

now the last step add just a little bit of peanut butter

Don’t Add too much, or else it will turn into an oily mess when you cook it

That much is fine, stir it up into the water… your sauce is done.

 

 

Cooking Time.

 

Start by cutting a tomato, cut it into chunks it doesn’t matter what it looks like.

Cut the tomato, cut it into little chunks, the tomato smooths out the flavors

 

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhwwwwwwwwwwwooooaaaaaaaaa

 

Cut the green onions, cut all their heads off. You want to keep into little stalks

Cut them into little stalks

 

Then take the tofu, now that all of the water is pressed out. The the paper towel off. Turn on the deep fryer, also prepare a pot on the stove.

Fill it with some oil. I like peanut or canola oil.

Add the tomato and start them cooking

put the tofu in the deep fryer like so

You can also use a pot of oil on the stove

If you don’t have a deep fryer.

 

Now add the bean sprouts and green onion to the pot and cook for a minute

Then add the Tofu

Now its time to add the sauce!!!

The awesome pad thai sauce!!!

(the sauce)

 

The rice noodles are a little soft, but they’re not cooked yet.

Now you’re almost done.

 

Now the real cooking starts Turn your heat up on high

 

At this point you are probably looking at it and saying

“what the fuck, this doesn’t look good at all” you tricked me…this sucks

 

You are missing one ingredient… that is of course the heat of Satan!!!!

You must summon the dark ones into your dish by any means possible

You know how to do it, just follow along.

 

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooowwwwwwaa

 

Look they are coming headbang furiously!!!

If the dark gods are pleased, they will present you with steam!

Now stir you fool, lest the dark ones take the bottom of your dish.

Stir so it doesn’t burn!

 

You better be stirring more than me, I’m trying to show you 6 minutes of stirring in ten seconds.

When all the water is gone, transfer quickly to a dish

 

Behold the Glorious pad thai

Behold the Glorious pad thai

Sprinkle some peanuts on top of your pad thai.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This video shows a step by step walkthrough on how to make an amazing vegan pad thai.

 

Pad Thai is of course fried rice noodles in a peanut based sauce.  In reality it is a peanut – tamarind – sugar based sauce but whatever.

 

This recipe comes from months of trial and error (mostly error) of trying to duplicate the pad thai at one of the local resturants in Orlando.  After asking the waiter several times to make sure it did not have fish sauce he replied no “it is a collection of different powders, sugar, and tamarind mixed with vinegar”… from that hint, this was born.

 

Like many people I had made my share of horrid vegetarian/vegan pad thai dishes in the past.  There are so many terrible recipies on the internet its not even funny.  The pre-prepared sauces in the stores are perhaps even worse!

 

If you are a true seeker of how to make incredible vegan pad thai, you have come to the right place.  Just watch the video and use your own judgement and taste to tailor the ingredient amounts to your liking.

 

One thing that must be known in the video is that I used 1/2 a pound of rice noodles for the quantity in the video.  Rice noodles are pretty much the most tasteless thing in the world so if you want the flavor stronger use less… if you found that you made the sauce too strong (or sweet) when its done, just boil some more quickly (or fry them in a pan with a little bit of water) and add them.

 

If you can not find the Tamarind Soup Base I like used in the video, the next thing to get is Tamarind Paste.  This comes in a block of paste with hard large seeds scattered throughout.  This can be found in most hispanic or asian stores.  It should not be too difficult to find.  If you can not find that however, you can use “Tamarind Nectar” which is like a juice in a can.  You would use this instead of both the soup base and the water in the video.  This is found on the hispanic or “ethnic” food isle of many grocery stores.

 

In this vegan pad thai, you can also use a bit of lime juice to make it more tangy/sour.  Or some coconut milk and coconut bits to give it a subtle coconut flavor.  Unfortunately this does not make things like coconut candy but instead gives it a mild coconut like flavor.  This is not as important or as good as it sounds.  It will not make or break your dish, it is just a bit different.

One other variation to try is to mix in a bit of thai basil with your cilantro.